The Circle
by ynmidk
Summary: Harry just finds out that he has a godfather, Sirius Black. But when things start to look up they turn for the worse. Pettigrew escaped, Sirius kissed by a Dementor- it was all too much, so he runs away, determined to leave his destiny, the wizarding world and the muggle world behind but a mysterious community offers something else. Harry/Ginny / Rated MA / warnings in AN
1. Introductions

**AN:** Getting sick of seeing me already? My third update/upload already today. But it's the last for now. You guys know what I love about universes like the HP universe? It has such a huge room for ideas and such to fill. Like the magic part. You can expand any magic almost infinitely. This is what I do here.

And in case that there are some spelling mistakes, missing words, etc. I am really tired right now but want to get this up. Necessary edits will be done tomorrow.

I hope you enjoy this.

 **Warnings include:** _graphic depictions of violence, graphic depictions of sexual situations, extreme language, mentions of abuse_

 **Disclaimer:** I _wish_ I owned the HP universe but alas, I do not.

* * *

Harry Potter wandered through hills of lush green, trees only being sparse. The air seemed so clean and wilderness so untouched, he couldn't help that tiny smile that stole itself onto his face. He hadn't smiled in what seemed like forever. After everything that had happened to him in the short thirteen years that he had lived there was no world that held any meaning to him anymore. Years of nothing but abuse and neglect was all he experienced in the muggle world. He had nothing in that world but relatives that hated his guts because he was a wizard. And hoping beyond hope that the magical world would be his safe haven proved to be nothing but wrong. A psychopath hunting him even from beyond death after killing his parents and failing to kill him when he was just a baby _and no one would tell him why._ A school with a giant basilisk in a secret chamber that no one found in hundreds of years, a school being guarded by soul-sucking fiends and after every school year with its near-death experiences he had to go back to his relatives and suffer their abuse. Add to that the fact the he was a celebrity in the magical world for no other reason than his parents sacrificing themselves to protect him, which resulted in the activation of some ancient magic that protected him... _or something like that._

He shook his head as he carefully slid down a slope. Not knowing where he was or what he would do felt kind of freeing for Harry. He had no responsibilities and the freedom to _live_ for the first time in his life. Something he lacked for _thirteen_ years. Freedom. And life. And so close to getting at least a bit of that freedom he so craved and the wizarding world took that away too. Again, no trial.

Even being a celebrity was not enough in the magical world. He didn't know what those people wanted from him. At times he wanted to yell in frustration, to shout and curse. _Love me or hate me, but stop doing both! And stop whispering! Say what you have to say and say it to my face!_

He found a tree and sat down under its shade. Pulling his backpack forward he opened it and sighed. His food, prepared by a wheeping house elf named Dobby, was dwindling quickly. He hoped he would find some sort of civilization soon.

Digging for a sandwich and a photograph of him and a family of redheads he pulled both out. He looked at the photograph and felt himself chocking up. His index finger touched a particular person. The shy smile, the flaming red hair caressed by the wind, the freckles sprinkled across her small nose, the eyes such a bright brown. He knew he loved her, even in his young age he just knew it. Every giggle, every smile seemed to lighten up a fire in his deepest core. But he also knew that he couldn't have her. She was the only anchor he had to the wizarding world but he knew she deserved better. He came with too many problems and this _beautiful, gorgeous, impossibly strong girl_ shouldn't be burdened with any of those. She deserved something that the universe seemed so adamant on denying him.

 _Ginny Weasley deserved a life._

* * *

 _His backpack was prepared, his two most priced possessions double and triple checked. All he needed to do was to say goodbye. The wizarding world didn't seem to be too bothered about his wellbeing and after Sirius- his godfather, locked away for twelve years without trial- seemed so close to freedom, to become his legal guardian, they took that away too. They didn't just kill, Sirius. No, they had Dementors suck out his soul. Killing him wasn't cruel enough._

 _He took a calming breath and began to write his farewell to the one person that he wanted to leave the least. Leaving her was something that broke his heart but he knew deep down that it was for the best. He had to do it. Not for himself, but for her._

Dear Ginny,

I don't know where to begin, so I will just write down what I think I need to say.

I thought I finally could get away from the Dursleys but that ended up being taken from me too. It seems that anyone with any relation to me has to suffer. They either die or rot in prison without trial. Who knows what else people close to me suffered without me knowing.

There always seem to be people who meddle in my life, who try to hurt me in one way or another. I don't know if it's intentional or accidental but I can't take it anymore.

So this is farewell. I will be long gone by the time this reaches you. Neither the muggle nor the wizarding world means anything to me anymore. I just want peace, freedom and a life. I don't want to be celebrated because my parents died to protect me. I don't want to be beaten up because I am a 'freak' and get better marks than my cousin.

I am sorry, Ginny. I know that you liked me a lot and that this will hurt you, but it is something that I need to do.

I also want you to know that I do love you. You are the most talented, the strongest and most beautiful witch I know and if things were different I would want to spend every day of my life with you. But they aren't. I know I shouldn't decide things for you, but in this case it is necessary. I just come with too many problems. If something happened to me, and sooner or later that will be the case, it would just hurt you. If something happened to you because of me, I would never be able to live with myself. I am sorry for doing this now, but at least once I wanted to say this. I love you, Ginevra Weasley.

You deserve a normal, peaceful life. I hope you will find it.

Maybe one day we will see each other again. If not, then I will see you in another life.

Yours forever,

HJP

 _He rolled up the parchment, shouldered his backpack and donned his invisibility cloak over himself before he activated the Maraudeurs Map._

 _He sneaked up into the owlery and looked for Hedwig. Taking off his cloak upon finding her, he held up the parchment._

 _"Hey, girl. Listen, this is very important." When satisfied that he had her attention, he continued to explain. "I need you to hide this letter for two days. Find a dry spot, some place that doesn't ruin the ink. After two days, you will give this letter to Ginny Weasley and only Ginny Weasley. If anyone else tries to take this letter from you then you are allowed to bite and scratch. When she gets this letter you are free to leave. Don't wait up for an answer. I will run away, Hedwig. You can follow me if you want or you can be free, that's up to you. If you want to be with me, I will go this way." Harry pointed her the direction. "I will see you soon, I hope." He scratched the top of her head affectionately before handing her the letter. He trusted her that she would carry out her job to perfection. Now it was time to leave and find his own path._

* * *

Ginny Weasley was beside herself with worry. The whole school was abuzz with the news of _the_ Harry Potter's disappearance.

He vanished right under the nose of the person who was supposed to never miss anything. Glaring at Dumbledore, she wondered if Harry was okay. She wondered if he was hungry or hurt, if he was sick. She just wanted to hear from him in some way.

She let out a shaky sigh, as she pushed her food around on her plate.

After the Chamber of Secrets fiasco Harry and she had finally gotten close. He noticed that there was more to her than just being Ron's little sister. And he was the one who always offered her a shoulder to lean on when her nightmares got to her again. Not once did he complain. She also got to know him as Harry James Potter instead of as Harry James Potter- _the Boy-Who-Lived_. It was those little tidbits she found out about him that built the foundation of the new feelings she developed, changing from her hero- crush to true love. She wouldn't know if Harry returned her feelings but she did dare to hope that there was a chance for _something_ between them.

And now this. Harry gone, disappeared without a trace.

"Ginny, you really need to eat something." Hermione said softly, worry etched on her face.

Ginny nodded, without actually eating. It was then when the owls came and an almost perfect collective gasp echoed through the hall at the sight of the infamous snowy owl that everyone knew belonged to one Harry Potter.

Everyone's gaze followed the owls path and Ginny's eyes widened when the owl landed in front of her, a rolled up, dry but dirty piece of parchment between her beaks. Ron reached out for it but Hedwig flew up and scratched Ron's hand with her talons.

"Are you mental?! Bloody owl.." Ron muttered angrily, nursing his bleeding hand.

"Ginny, you should take it. Obviously it's only meant for you." Hermione urged her.

With shaking hands, Ginny took the parchment and as soon as it was in her possession, Hedwig flew away.

Unrolling the parchment, Ginny started to read. First her eyes started to mist over, then her chin started to shake, followed by a ' _no...' before she let out a sob and rushed out of the hall, leaving the letter behind._

Hermione reached for the letter and read it herself. "Oh no, Harry..." She sighed, a few tears escaping her. "Why did you have to do this?"

"What is it?" Ron asked her. Hermione handed him the letter without a word and Ron's scowl deepened with every sentence. "Bloody idiot couldn't save his stupid declaration...how is Ginny supposed to live through this?" He ran a hand through his hair, frustrared. "You realize he left us out completely?" He asked his bushy haired friend.

"He probably had his reasons." She shrugged but couldn't stop the feelings of hurt and betrayal.

"I suppose." Ron replied, not feeling convinced.

"Come on, we need to show this to Professor Dumbledore. And then we need to find your sister. She must be devastated."

"Yeah..."

* * *

A week had already passed since he left behind everything. His food supply had run out and there was still no sign of civilization. He warily sat down on a rock, tired. With magic out of question because of the trace he had to rely on his limited muggle survival skills, which didn't really help in his situation. He had lost his sense of direction and had no idea in which way he could find the closest settlement or village.

He let out a desperate cry. "Hello? Is anybody out there? Anyone?" Groaning, he let his head drop into his hands when the sound of a giggle startled him.

Jumping up and pulling out his wand he looked around. "Who is there? Show yourself!"

A girl, no older than nine, suddenly appeared seemingly out of nowhere. Startled, he fell backwards. _"Holy shite!"_ He let out. "What the-?! How-?!"

The girl giggled again. "Hey, you! My name's Ali. What's your name?"

"I...what?"

"Your name, silly. I told you my name. What is yours?"

"My name's, uh, James. James Porter." Harry lied, combing his fringe with his fingers over his scar.

"But why," the girl began, snapping her fingers, "lie to us, Harry Potter?" She finished as the air around her seemed to shatter like glass. Suddenly, in place of the young girl was now a woman in a hooded black cloak branding a symbol unlike any he had seen before; a red circle and in the middle of it another smaller red circle, out of which several branches with more symbols seemed to grow out. One looked like fire, another like a star and another like a skull. The other two he couldn't quite make out.

"I...how do you-? Wait! You are alone! Why did you say 'we'? Who are you?!" Harry was really confused now. He backed away slowly, his wand trained on the strange woman, who snapped her fingers again.

This time the whole area seemed to shatter and suddenly he found himself in a small settlement with a large bonfire, a large cauldron with food cooking, children playing somewhere, tents and carriages completing the picture. He bumped into someone behind him and jumped away, tripping over someone else's foot and falling face first into the ground.

"Easy there, Harry Potter." Someone said, reaching for Harry's arms to help him up but he jerked away.

"What is going on?! Where am I?! Who are you people?!" Harry's voice rose with every question as did his panic.

The settlement was now quiet, people staring at him. The children had stopped playing, looking at him curiously.

"We are the Circle, Harry Potter." A man answered. "And I am the Speaker: Xavier."

"What is-? How-? What did she do?" Harry pointed at the woman whom he encountered before.

"Ali is our senior illusionist. Her magic hides us. People walk right through our settlement, none the wiser to our existence."

Harry's mind was reeling. He never heard of something called 'The Circle' before. And illusion magic of this calibre? He knew that glamour charms could count as such but they were directed at single targets. This woman created an illusion over an entire area of solid things like people and tents. She made him think, see and feel as if he was in untouched wilderness! _Without a wand!_

"Why are you out here? Why did you show yourselves to me if you need to hide? What is the circle?"

Xavier looked around and motioned for them to gather around him. "Let us finish prepare our dinner. We have a guest tonight. Jonah, Valerie, Ali and Siobhan- join us."

"You can't just decide for me to stay!" Harry protested and was about to get up when Xavier held up a hand.

"And where will you go when you leave? We will have to obliviate your memory. There are reasons why we are hiding, Harry Potter. Join us tonight. We will answer any questions you might have and then we want to hear why you are so far away from where you should be right now. Depending on your answer, we will make you an offer."

Harry looked at the man. He looked kind enough, in his late fourties, maybe fifties. He had black hair and a full beard. His eyes were his most outstanding features: a bright sapphire blue.

If they wanted to harm him they could have done so ages ago. And he had to admit, the food cooking did smell wonderful. "Fine." He relented. "I really am curious about you people."

Xavier gave him a grateful smile and motioned for him to follow. Harry got up and walked behind the older man, taking in the sight around him. He couldn't believe that so far out from in the wilderness of Scotland there actually was some form of a hidden magical civilization. It was unbelievable that no one ever found out.

Finally they sat down in front of one of the larger tents. Soon they were joined by Nightingale and three others. Harry noticed that they all were wearing the same cloaks as did several others around the settlement.

A few moments later a couple of the youngsters of the settlement brought them a steaming bowl of some stew which they began to it with a wooden spoon.

"So, Harry. May I call you Harry?" At Harry's nod he continued. "Let me introduce us again. I am Xavier, the Speaker of the Circle and senior healer. Ali here is the senior illusionist. Jonah, the senior death mage." Harry paled slightly at the 'death mage'-part as Xavier pointed at an old man with long grey hair and a long beard who eyed him curiously. "Siobhan, our senior pyromancer." A blonde woman, younger than the rest of the group, smiled at him with a nod. "And Valerie, our only cosmic mage."

"What is a cosmic mage? I...I'm sorry but..." Harry shrugged helplessly. How could so many different types of magic be hidden from Hogwarts? The whole wizarding community?

Valerie, a middle aged woman with dark hair and a pale complexion, spoke up. "Every magic draws its energy from what you see around you. Magic, in the end, is nothing but the manipulation of what is already there. You can not conjure something out of nothing. Cosmic energy is everywhere," she explained, spreading her arms wide, "and it is the very essence of any magic you know. It is the oldest, most ancient and primal form of magic. The cosmos was there before anything else after all and the energy our magic draws from his cosmic energy. We- or I- manipulate the cosmic energy as it is everywhere. We are part of the cosmos. So, a cosmic mage can use that exact energy to manipulate the very space at a proportionally sized cosmic level, if you will. We can also recreate cosmic phenomena- again, on a _much_ smaller scale of course."

"I'm afraid I don't understand. When saying 'comos' and 'cosmic', you mean space, right? Like, outer space?"

"Indeed, I do. Let me demonstrate. Do you know how a black hole works?"

"I don't think so." Harry admitted. "It has to do something with a star, right?"

"In very basic terms, a star has to collapse upon itself. The fascinating thing is that a black hole bends space and alters time. I can do the same with space. Time we can never touch. But I could create a miniature black hole."

Harry's eyes widened. "How?" He asked in an awed whisper.

"I am afraid that I am not familiar with details of the magic. But who is really? Who knows what exactly it is that happens to the molecules and cells of your body when you shapeshift into your animagus form? All I know is how to will it to happen, how to will the cosmic energy to bend to my desire."

Listening with rapt attention he soaked in everything the woman explained to him. "But how come no one else knows about these things? About you?"

Xavier gave a humorless chuckle. "Oh, but they do. Your ministry knows and they hunt us because we practice 'dangerous and forbidden dark arts.' Anything going beyond tickle magic, basic stunners and transformations is deemed dark. And then there are Voldemort's followers who hunt us to enslave us and steal our knowledge."

"You know about-? He knows about-?" Harry's face was stricken.

"Yes. Since his very beginnings he has tried to find us, but so far we could elude him."

Harry didn't say anything for a while. "So you do follow everything going on in the wizarding world?"

"Yes." Xavier answered.

"Why? From what you told me they hate you. You have a nice, peaceful community here, can practice your magic without anyone bothering you. Why do you care about them?"

The old man Jonah gave a low laugh. "You may be right but you think like a young teenager, Mr. Potter." He gave a wary sigh. "I have only ever lived like this. I have never went to school, never lived in a proper house. You can only conjure so many things before you draw attention when you don't want to. We can't rely on illusions forever and we have to keep changing locations. We want a better life for our children and grandchildren." He gave a fond smile to a pair of children who seemed to be around four or five years old. "Our people are dying out, Mr. Potter. We were once far beyond a thousand strong. Now our numbers are well below a hundred."

"I'm sorry to hear that." Harry mumbled, staring at the empty bowl in front of him, deep in thought. "You said you wanted to ask me something?"

"It's more like an offer." Xavier clarified. "We would offer you a place among us, to see were your magical affinity lies and train you accordingly. That way you will be prepared for-"

"No." Harry answered.

"And why is that, if I may ask?" Xavier arched a brow.

"I am done with the magical world as I am with the muggle world. I just want a peaceful and quiet life. Thanks but no, thanks."

"You are a coward, you know that?" Ali spoke up for the first time since she revealed herself to Harry.

Harry felt like someone punched him in the guts.

"Ali..." Siobhan tried to intervene.

"No! Voldemort is about to come back and he just runs away because some things don't go his way! Okay, he had some shit luck, I can see that. But when someone offers you to help and train you, to actually prepare you so you can actually _do_ something, you take it!" She looked Harry up and down before shaking her head. "I told you lot before, he is too whiny and too spineless. I say we obliviate him and drop him off somewhere where he won't bother us again." She got up and left the group.

Siobhan looked at Ali's back, her irritation obvious. "I'm sorry about that..." She told Harry, an apologetic smile on her face.

Harry gave her a half-hearted smile in return, his thoughts running rampant. "How long have you been spying on me?" He finally asked.

"We never did." Valerie answered. "We had followed the wizarding world and in doing so found out in one way or another about what happened in Hogwarts. Though we did have a particularly high interest in you."

"Of course you did..." Harry muttered under his breath. "I don't know if I did the right thing any more..." He ran a hand through his hair. "It's just, I hated all the attention, how in one moment I was so great and in the next everyone hates me. I hoped for a safe place with friends when I got my letter and was so happy to get away from the Dursley's and all I got was the same _shite_ just different..." He ranted, his frustration boiling over. "Maybe it was cowardly to run away but can you blame me?"

"We don't." Xavier answered for the group. "It is something that even Ali understands. But we offer you the possibility to return stronger. It is that what she sees as cowardly; your complete and utter unwillingness to ever return. And if I may be so frank: I tend to agree with her. Running away from your destiny is not a very Gryffindor thing to do."

Sighing heavily Harry felt old beyond his years. "Why did it have to be me?" He wondered out loud. He then remembered something Ali said before she left. "Is Voldemort really coming back?"

"Yes." The Speaker looked him in the eyes. "Do you know what a Horcrux is, Harry?"

"No. Why? What's it got to do with Voldemort?"

Xavier got up, his hands glowing green. Harry eyed him warily. Without so much of a word, the Speaker pressed a hand hard against Harry's scar and the other at the back of his head. His scar burning like never before, Harry let out a scream and then, as quickly as it came, the pain was over. He blinked several times and saw something wraith-like dissolving into nothingness, a disembodied scream echoing into the dark. "What did you do?" Harry asked Xavier, feeling for his scar, shocked that he felt nothing but smooth skin.

"I destroyed the Horcrux inside of you, freeing you of Voldemort's taint. A Horcrux is a splinter of one's soul bound into an object of their choice, essentially binding them into the realm of the living when they should be dead. When Voldemort attempted to kill you he accidentally made you a living Horcrux."

"A part of his soul was inside of me?" Harry paled, feeling sick.

"Not anymore. And to answer your previous question: yes, Voldemort will come back and Horcruxes are the reason why."

"He splintered his soul?" Harry felt sick at the thought that someone would go so far just to escape death.

"Yes. As far as we can tell he made more than one but how many exactly is beyond us."

"So..." Harry sighed. It just seemed like fate had other plans than a peaceful life for him.

"Our offer stands, Harry. We will train you, include you into our community. You will be one of us, safe with us. You will learn magic that not even Voldemort himself knows of."

Harry was quiet for some time, then looked at the adults. "And what would you get out of this?"

"For one, we have a great interest in destroying one of the most vile beings in the history of wizardkind." Valerie answered. "But we also hope that with you as one of us we will get a bigger chance to be reincluded into magic society. That is all there is to our offer."

Harry let out a pained groan. "Fine. I accept."

"Thank you, Harry. We understand why you are so reluctent about this but you don't have to deal with...mediocre newspapers and students staring at you. Now, before you begin your training there are four things that need to be done." Xavier started to explain. "First, we need to remove your trace. Second we need to find out where your magical affinity lies. For that you will drink a potion. Third, we will test if you have an animagus form. There is another potion for that. And fourth, I will correct your eyesight. Glasses are hindering and once you lose them you are as helpless as an infant."

Harry nodded at all of this and handed them his wand. He couldn't help but feel excitement at the animagus part.

"While we prepare ourselves you are free to roam." Jonah said and the adults got up, leaving Harry to his own devices.

He looked around awkwardly, seeing the children play hide and seek, giggling and laughing. He sighed and couldn't stop the hint of bitterness he was feeling. Even living as nomads and constantly hiding, these children were allowed to be children. He really hated the Dursleys.

Standing up, he saw Ali at one of the carriages, looking for something or another. He hesitated but decided that since it looked like they were all going to train him he at least should try and clear the air with her. He didn't want to deal with another Professor Snape out here.

Once close enough, he spoke up. "Umm, Ali? Can I talk to you for a sec'?"

Startled, she turned around and frowned at him. "What is it?"

Sighing, Harry ran a hand through his hair. "I...agreed to the offer. I will stay and train here."

"Good." She gave him a jerky nod.

"Look...you will train me too, won't you?" She confirmed with another nod. "Okay...so, I just want to explain myself to you. I don't want us to be...like this with each other. No one can work like this."

Sighing, Ali sat down at the edge of the carriage and patted the spot next to her. "Alright then, explain."

Harry took the offer and sat down. "I should begin with the fact that I thought my name was 'boy' up until I was five years old." He said and chuckled without any humor at the way how Ali's eyebrows vanished under her fringe. "My relatives never once called me by name. Ever. It's either 'freak' or 'boy'. I got beat up for getting bad marks and I got beat up for getting better marks than their pig of a son. I was pretty much a slave for them. I did every single chore in their house. Cooking, cleaning, you name it, I did it." Harry's voice was low and he looked at his hands laying on his lap, fumbling about senselessly. "Then I get this letter and think that I am finally free and end up getting almost killed every year. And then I have this chance to live with my godfather who was rotting away in prison for twelve years innocently and without trial and they end up killing him...or more like doing worse than that, again without even trying to talk to him." He looked up and saw the others waiting for him with his wand and two potions for him. He slid down from the carriage and glanced back at Ali. "I hope you understand a bit better why I had to leave at least."

She nodded, a guilty expression on her face. "I do. I am sorry for what I said. And aside from being trained and pushed hard, you can have some peace here. We will see to that." Ali promised him.

"Thank you."

* * *

"I see you talked with Ali. I assume the air is cleared?" Xavier asked.

"Yes, it is." Harry confirmed as he glanced back at Ali, who was now walking towards them.

"Good. If you will follow us." They walked for a while until they reached a small clearing. "First things first, you wand is now trace-free. You can safely perform any magic you wish to."

Harry grinned at that.

"Next, we will learn your affinity." He showed Harry a vial with a thick, clear liquid. "You will not drink this. This potion shows the magic that runs in your blood by reacting to a drop of it. A hand please." Harry stretched out a hand and winced as Siobhan pricked a finger with a knife. His blood dropped into the vial, mixing with the liquid. Nothing happened for a while and he almost feared that he somehow failed when the liquid started to change into a black void with bright spots sprinkled in it. Valerie clapped her hands excitedly, almost teary-eyed. "It looks like Valerie finally has the student she had longed for." Xavier chuckled good-naturedly.

Harry's mind was swimming. Cosmic magic was his affinity.

 _I really never do anything half-arsed, do I?_ He thought to himself.

"Let us continue." Xavier said, drawing the attention back to himself. "This will cause hallucinations that last only a few short moments. In this time you will see an animal if you have an animagus form. If not, you will only feel dizzy for a while."

Again, Harry nodded as he took the while. Taking a deep breath, he downed it. Almost immidiately he saw the environment shift and change and he heard the sound of crows and they got louder and louder until he suddenly saw a single one staring at him. They looked each other in the eyes when it suddenly crowed and he was jerked back into reality.

"Well?" They looked at him expectently.

Harry took a shaky breath and smiled.

"It's a crow."

* * *

 **AN:** What do you guys think about the different magicks? Let me know!


	2. The Circle Of Magick

**AN:** Hey guys. It's been a while. Sorry about this big delay, but I've been very distracted. First, Mass Effect Andromeda (the whole negativity around the game has been so ridiculous, I mean yeah, there were issues but it's in no way been as terrible as it was made out to be- I even enjoyed it a lot!) and then university started and well, priorities, right? But I haven't forgotten you guys, no worries. I wanted to first catch up with this story chapterwise. Next update will be Together In Darkness because people seem to want updates for that one the most and it also is the story which wasn't updated the longest. But I can't promise when! Might be soon, might be not so soon.

So, now all that being said: enjoy this chapter and please leave a review. Love those.

* * *

Training was hard. It was really, _really_ hard.

Harry was now part of this community- The Circle- for four months and he could already determine that much. To tap into his very core to draw magical energy from the cosmos he first had to learn to meditate, so that he could actually feel it.

" _How can you draw that energy when you don't feel it, Harry?" Valerie explained to him. "Your ministry...excuse me,_ the _ministry," she corrected herself with an amused smile at Harry's look, "has seen to it that we are forgotten, that our magic is forgotten. People don't see it or feel it anymore, they only scratch at the very surface of what is actually all around us. Once you learn to feel the cosmos, Harry...you will never be able to see the world like you do now. You will feel it breath and feel it's heartbeat like it is a living thing. You can feel the void of space as if you are in it, you can draw your power from it, feel it flow through you." Her eyes were bright with wonder as she kept talking to him. "That is what real magic is all about. It has gotten lost to everyone but us. And if we die out, then it will be lost forever."_

He was determined to feel what Valerie explained to him. It sounded exciting and like something he really wanted to experience. The real meaning of magic, to actually, really, _truly_ feel it.

Then there was the physical regimen to his training. He had to do runs, he had to build muscle, he had to eat a lot more than he was used to, so he would gain weight.

But the more he did train, the more changes he felt. He had a lot more stamina and he didn't look scrawny and almost sickly thin anymore. Even when they always on the move, never really staying in one place for more an extended period of time, this Circle did the most of their situation. None of them looked sick or hubgry to Harry and although what he got here to eat was no Hogwarts feast he felt sated and taken care of.

But he was pretty certain that he would never be really tall; the Dursley's had seen to that. He would always be a bit too short for his age, even when...or _if_ he would get his last growth spurt. But that was okay.

What was frustrating though was his animagus training. It was really hard and he had to learn to transfigure a part of his body first with a particular spell designed for animagi. Once he got that down, the rest would be fast- or so they said.

All in all, he was actually enjoying himself. When he didn't train he was free. Not free of expectations and responsibilities, yes. But he didn't feel restricted, he didn't feel all eyes on him. He didn't feel as if every single thing he did would be judged, one way or another. He was free of the eyes of wizarding society. Harry could simple be Harry Potter without the things that came with that name suffocating him.

Of course he did miss his friends and his heart ached for Ginny, but he knew that this needed to be done.

And when Hedwig found him a few weeks into his training- she really was an extraordinary and loyal owl- he asked Xavier if he could write to Ginny and when he confirmed that Harry wouldn't reveal anything about them, he told him he could send a short letter to let her know he was okay.

And that, he did.

* * *

The Weasley household was as busy as ever, but with a more sullen undertone as there was still no sound or sight of Harry. A young witch in particular was worried and heartbroken and there was very little to be done to console her in any way.

Ginevra Molly Weasley still couldn't believe that Harry Potter pretty much vanished and at the same time declared his love to her. She just didn't know how to deal with it. Should she move on and settle for someone who was _okay_ or should she wait and hope for the time the boy she loved and adored more than life itself would come back?

She let out a sigh and took a small sip of her tea in the kitchen, her parents currently talking with the headmaster about other possible places to look for Harry. Hermione was sitting between the redhead and her brother. She was grateful for the bushy-haired witch. Without her she would probably have broken down completely. But Hermione's words strung something in her. She would allow herself to be heartbroken and sad but she would also have to be strong. It was her life and it didn't depend on Harry. She was her own witch. Yes, she desperately wanted to wait and hope for Harry to return so that they could be together but that couldn't and shouldn't stop her from living. And there still was the matter of her still not knowing if it would actually be worth it to _wait._

She glanced out the window and her eyes suddenly widened. "That...that's Hedwig! Isn't it? It has to be!" She gasped, paling slightly.

Everyone on the table pushed back chairs and shifted and ran to the window, opening it for the rapidly approaching owl.

As soon as she glided inside she landed elegantly on Ginny's shoulder and stretched a leg out for her, a piece of parchment rolled up and bound to it.

She unbound the parchment with shaky hands and looked at the others, unsure how to voice her wish.

The headmaster of course understood though. "Let us give young Ginevra a moment of privacy. We can always ask about the letter a few minutes later." He told the group before motioning for them to go the living room.

"Thank you professor." She whispered, a small and grateful smile on her face.

She offered the snowy owl something to drink and some owl treats, before sitting down to read. A chuckle that half sounded like a sob escaped her lips as she immidiately recognized the scratchy handwriting.

 _Dear Ginny,_

 _First of all, I'm sorry. I really am. I know I hurt you but I can tell you now that there was no way around it. I finally found the place where I need to be at the moment. I am fine, I am safe and for now I found peace. But I can promise you that I won't be gone forever. I will come back. I can't say when, though. I won't ask you to wait for me. I couldn't ask something like that of you. But I do hope that there will be something left between us to start something. Whatever you are willing to give I am willing to take._

 _PS.: I included things I wanted to say to Ron and Hermione, your parents and Prof. Dumbledore in this. I didn't want to make Hedwig carry more than this. Could you show them please?_

 _Ron and Hermione:_

 _Hey guys. I am sorry that there wasn't anything there for you when I said goodbye. I didn't know what to say. I still don't, to be honest. Just trust me on this, please. I will be back. I promise._

 _Ask the twins to prank Malfoy for me._

 _Mr. and Mrs. Weasley:_

 _Thank you for everything and please don't worry about me. I am fine. I promise, I will be back._

 _Professor Dumbledore:_

 _Please stop looking for me. I know you are trying to find me. I am fine and I will be back. I can't say when. All I can promise is that I will come back._

 _PS: look for Horcruxes._

 _This will be my last letter. See you all soon._

 _Safe and sound,_

 _HJP_

She smiled as she gave a small sob, her heart soaring with relief that he seemed to be fine and that he said he would come back.

Looking at the owl, she scratched the top of her head, just the way she liked it. "He really is okay,isn't he, Hedwig?" She asked the content owl who gave a small _hoot_ in confirmation. "Good." She smiled softly. "Can I give you a very short answer for Harry?" Ginny asked and Hedwig gave another soft _hoot_.

She rummaged in a drawer for a small piece of parchment, a quill and ink and wrote three short words, before rolling the parchment up and tying it on Hedwigs outstretched leg. "Take care of him for me." She said before releasing the owl.

She was sure of what she would do now, no matter how long it would take.

 _I will wait._ She thought to herself.

With a deep sigh, her tension relieved for now, she went to the living room, the letter in her hand.

As soon as she entered, everyone got up and looked at her expectantly. With a small smile, she answered their silent question. "He's okay. And, uh, he had a little to say for all of you. It's in there."

Handing the letter to Ron and Hermione first, both reading together and looking half relieved and half sad, she sat down next to her mother, her head leaning into her shoulder. "I miss him..." She said silently. "It's not fair...just when we actually got to know each other..." Ginny sighed.

"I know, sweetheart..." Molly planted a kiss on her daughter's forehead, rubbing her back soothingly. Her heart ached for Ginny's lost youth, the fear of losing her daughter just after her very first year still sitting deeply. And just when she was getting out of her shell and starting to really open up to Harry, he decided that he needed to leave. Sometimes she was angry at him for hurting and worrying her daughter like this and sometimes she reminded herself of what that poor boy had to endure for his entire life.

Looking at Arthur, after he finished reading their message from Harry, she asked him what it said.

"Nothing much, really. Just that he thanks us for everything and that we shouldn't worry. That he'll be back."

She nodded with a small smile. Then she looked at Dumbledore, who looked slightly pale. "What is it, Albus?" She asked with a frown.

With a slight shake of his head, he just looked at the letter grimly. "Harry pretty much confirmed my worst fears is all."

The rest of the room just looked at each other in confusion as the Headmaster hastily left, the letter forgotten on the table.

* * *

"Apparantly there was an attack after the Quidditch World Cup Final." Ali told Harry as they both were doing stretch exercises.

"Who attacked who?" Harry asked.

"It's _whom_ , not who." She retorted, ignoring Harry as he rolled his eyes at her. "Death Eaters the visitors in the camps." Ali answered. "You know what Death Eaters are?"

Harry shook his head, having never heard that particular term before.

"They are Voldemort's followers." Glancing at Harry and seeing his scowl, she knew she probably shouldn't tell him what she was about to tell him but withholding information was worse than scary news. "Your girlfriend you told me about?"

Blushing, Harry shoved Ali, making the young woman lose her balance. "For fucks sake, Ali, I told you she's not my girlfriend."

"All you need is to snog to seal it, that's pretty much a girlfriend already in my book." Ali smirked at him, gathering herself back up. "Anyways, I snooped around a bit and the Weasleys were there too during the attack." She told him, her face back at being serious.

Harry's eyes widened and he turned his head towards her so quickly she feared his neck would snap. "They are okay though, right?!"

"Yes, they are. No one was killed, a muggle family needed to be obliviated and the worst there was were minor injuries from what I've heard."

"Thank Merlin..." Harry breathed out.

She stopped their stretching and turned Harry so he would look at her. "There was the Dark Mark. Voldemort's signature. Things are getting serious and picking up quickly. Valerie placed wards to alert us at any possible location we could think of that would mean anything at all to Voldemort, so we might be ready and know about it if he were to return anytime soon, but you need to be ready too."

Harry nodded at her. "I will pick up the pace." He was about to start his jog, when he stopped to look at Ali. "How do you guys know so much about Voldemort? Half the time I felt like even Dumbledore didn't really know that much."

"Research. Having to live in a nomadic society has its perks. You get from place to place, find out things, hear things...and some of our elders lived through Voldemort's beginnings, knew about him when he was still Tom Riddle. Xavier said that Speaker Martin- the Speaker before him- passed through a graveyard with Tom Riddle Sr.'s grave."

"That's bound to mean something to him." Harry commented, his eyes wide.

"Definitely. What you have to understand, Harry, is that we have lived this life for ages now. I don't know exactly how long, you have to ask Xavier for that, but it was long enough for us to become nothing more than a side note in some Ministry notebook, being marked as 'highly dangerous' or something. Most people don't even know we ever existed. But we had enough time to be almost everywhere in Britain. We have notes of every place we ever were at, so we know about everything special about every location in Britain we ever passed or ever stayed at."

"You guys are definitely meticulous."

" _We_ are meticulous. You are one of us now, you are a part of the Circle. Get used to it." She grinned at him, giving him a hard slap on the back, making him wince. "Whimp." She laughed.

"Shut up. And well, yeah, I still feel like an outsider at times, to be honest, even when I get included in stuff by others outside of the training." He shrugged. "By the way, do you guys have something to make this official? I mean, me becoming a Circler. Circle-ist? Part of the Circle."

"Yes, there is." Ali confirmed and pulled down the collar of her shirt, making Harry blush furiously.

"What are you doing, you mad woman?!" He hissed at her, covering his eyes.

Rolling her eyes, she pulled one of his hands away. "Oh come off it. It's not like I'm flashing you or something. My boobs are covered."

Harry opened the uncovered eye carefully and saw that she was right. He also saw what it was that would make his joining official. "So it's a tattoo." He looked at it carefully, his cheeks flushing as he also saw the curve of her breasts. _Damn teenage hormones!_ "I, uh, I saw that same symbol on your cloak when we met." He observed and scowled at her smirk.

"Indeed." She answered and dropped her hand from her collar, straightening her shirt. "It's our symbol. _The Circle Of Magick._ Everyone who completes his or her training gets it, right above the heart."

"How long do you think will it take? For me to finish the training I mean." Harry asked her.

"Want to look tough with a tat when you see your girl, eh?" She smirked at him again. "A Horntail would probably be more macho."

"Shut it! Just answer the damned question." Harry snapped at her, again blushing.

Laughing, she through an arm over his shoulders good-naturedly. "If we go by Hogwarts' terms you should be done by the end of what would have been your fifth year. At the very least you should be done with your animagus training and you should be done with the easiest of your cosmic stuff."

Harry nodded at her, still flushed, and started his jogging, muttering about insufferable women and how all they did was annoy him.

"Teenagers. So easy to tease." Ali laughed to herself as she watched Harry do his laps.

* * *

Days passed into weeks and weeks into months. Harry had finally managed to properly meditate and for the first time in his life actually _felt_ magic.

Once he had managed to empty his mind of all thoughts, empty his soul of all feelings and found peace unlike he ever imagined, he felt space itself pulse and breath. He was so startled by it that his concentration broke.

"Blimey!" He gasped out, eyes wide. "I actually _felt_ it!"

Valerie laughed softly at him. "I had the very same reaction as you have, Harry. Although, I probably wasn't so vocal about it."

Harry smiled sheepishly at her. "Sorry about that. Training with Ali is, uh, different than with you. I am not saying worse though." He hastily added.

"Don't worry about it." She laughed at him. "Ali is a wild one. Understandibly, as she is still in her youth, compared to the rest of us. Probably why you feel more comfortable around her than with me or Xavier." Valerie admitted. "But now, what exactly did you feel?"

Harry knew that Valerie knew but wanted to hear it in his words. "It was just a few seconds but...for the first time I felt such peace...no thoughts, no emotions...just empty but in a good way. Then, a moment later, it was like...I don't know." He shrugged at her helplessly but she just looked at him with a smile, indicating that he should take his time. "It was like...I am sitting here and could feel this...this pulse all around me. Like a heartbeat. And then a breathing, again all around me. As if...I could feel the space itself breath and feel its heartbeat. I feel like I finally know what magic is actually supposed to feel like." He ended in a whisper.

"This is it exactly." Valerie confirmed. She pointed towards a clearing a few feet away from them. "Look there." She said and, when he did, held an open palm at the clearing.

At first nothing happened but then it looked as if the space around the clearing collapsed into itself and it grew denser and denser until a small, black disk of nothingness appeared for a few seconds, sucking everything into it and bending space around it before it disappeared in a dull explosion.

 _"Holy shite!"_ Harry exclaimed. "That was an actual...I can do that?!"

"Indeed you can, Harry. But it is immensely hard and incredibly draining. I can never hold it for more than a few seconds but that would usually be enough in a battle. There are a lot of other things you will and need to learn first. The very first thing will be what I call 'space walk'. You will manipulate space in such a manner that you can open...portals for lack of a better word into any location you wish. Very useful and much more comfortable than apparation."

"When can we start?" Harry asked eagerly.

With a low chuckle, Valerie got up from her seating position and indicated for Harry to do the same. "Right now, if you are up for it."

"You bet I am!"

* * *

With Xavier, Harry was busy trying to get that damned first transfiguration right.

"Damn it!" He cursed, his frustration evident in his voice and expression.

"Let's take a break, Harry. You won't be any more successful if you are frustrated like that." Xavier said, sitting down on a rock.

Harry sat down next to him, using a hand to comb his unruly hair out of his face; though it wasn't that unruly anymore, having grown by a lot since he found his ways into this little society. "Sorry about that...this is just so much harder than I expected. It is just one spell, nothing more."

"And this is where you are wrong. It is not just a spell, Harry." Xavier explained. "You are not just doing human to animal transfiguration. You are implementing information to your body. When you use a simple transfiguration spell on a human you are just doing it. You are changing the human body down to its very cells. But when you are using this particular spell, designed specifically to make it possible to change from human to animal and back...then you are changing your very DNA structure, the information your brain has and gets through your nerves. _That_ is complex on a whole different level and some of the most ecperienced adult wizards have problems of accomplishing it." Xavier gave Harry a wry smile, as the young wizard listened to him with undivided attention. "You are just a fourteen year old boy who has too much on his plate already. You should be allowed to struggle at some things once in a while."

"I guess..." Harry mumbled. "I just want to be ready. With the Death Eater attack and all...I have a feeling that things will happen fast..."

"I understand, Harry. Maybe this will help you: concentrate more on sending the information to your body first and not so much on the actual transfiguration-part."

After mulling this over in his head for a few moments, Harry nodded. "I think I understand what you mean. I will try it."

There's nothing you can really do right now other than trying, Harry." Xavier chuckled at the teen. "I will leave you to your own devices for now. Don't strain yourself too much. You need to rest just as much as you need to train."

Harry gave Xavier a small smile as the Speaker got up and left, before he took a deep breath as he resumed his animagus training.

* * *

Harry continued his training as time kept on going mercilessly. He didn't give himself a day off as he heard about the happenings in the wizarding world. Not long ago the Circle didn't involve itself any more than necessary into their former society, but now with Harry Potter being one of them they knew that their last chance of saving their culture, history and magical knowledge was upon them.

So, when Ali took it upon herself to spy and eavesdrop in Diagon Alley in her animagus form- a nightingale- Harry resumed training, pushing himself mentally and physically as far as he could. He could already reap a lot of rewards for his efforts. His space walk was something he mastered within 3 months, giving him and Valerie the possibity to move on to what Valerie dubbed the "cosmic shock", which was the manipulation of space in a way that would create a shockwave of significant strength.

On top of that, Harry's endurance and fitness was at a peak he never knew he had. He could run for miles now and barely be out of breath. Ali had told him with a teasing glint in her eyes that "since you are so tiny you should take advantage of that and just be quick on your feet and too slippery to catch", so that was what he tried to achieve by improving his agility as much as possible.

His animagus training also started to improve after his early struggles and he managed to transfigure a few single body parts at will now.

It was during one such session, shortly after what would be the end of his fourth year, that Ali and Valerie revealed to him that they were out on a mission.

"Really?" Harry asked as he turned his legs back to their original size and human form. "What did you do?"

Ali looked kind of guilty, making Harry narrow his eyes at her in suspicion. "Don't be mad, Harry, that we only tell you now. You need to concentrate on your training for now but we decided that it really wouldn't help at all to keep you out of the loop _that_ much."

"Okay, go on."

"So, uh...Voldemort may have returned…"

Harry blinked several times at first before it really sunk in what he just heard. "What?!"

"He returned at the finale of the Triwizard Tournament. The cup was a portkey and the Diggory boywas first to reach it. It took him to Voldemort's father's grave. There Pettigrew revived him with some ritual that required blood from an unwilling person. I bet it should have been you but since you were unavailable…" Ali shrugged as she finished.

"We space walked there to a bit too late to stop the ritual but at least we could get the boy out of there alive." Valerie concluded for them.

"And all of this you decide to tell me _now_?"

"Harry," Xavier spoke up. "We know you want to be involved in everything concerning Voldemort. We understand it even. But we thought that knowing too much of everything as soon as it happened will distract you. You need every minute to train. You cannot afford to be distracted. You know that." Harry wanted to interrupt but Xavier held up a hand. "Please let me finish. With every distracting news we fear that you won't be able to train as efficiently as you did until now. I still do. But I was convinced," he glanced at Ali and Valerie, both avoiding his eyes, "that we should trust your judgement and maturity to take these news, accept them and continue your training."

"I will. I promise. And thank you."

"There is something else, Harry." Xavier continued. "Since Voldemort returned it remains uncertain how much time we will really have to finish your training. Because of that we all agreed that we should make you now an official part of our Circle."

Eyes widening, Harry grinned. "Really?"

"Yes." Xavier confirmed with a smile. "There is no big ceremony to this, Harry. We are no cult, we are no sect. We are no dubious underground organisation. All we are is a family and thus we do not require a big fanfare to accept someone as our own." A boy playing by himself heard Xaviers words and ran back to the camp, shouting all the way.

"Harry is becoming one of us! They are giving Harry the circle!"

Harry had to groan at that. "What was that about no fanfare?" He asked as he looked and saw a big group of people arriving and observing with badly hidden curiousity.

"That wasn't planned." Ali laughed.

Jonah gave a deep chuckle. "Don't let it bother you."

"Let us just continue." Xavier smiled. "Harry. We- all of us in the Circle- as a family require only one thing of you: will you swear, upon your very magic, that you will never betray our trust in you?"

"I swear. I will never betray any of you. Ever."

"Then take off your shirt." Xavier said as he pulled out his wand.

Harry did so, but not without feeling his cheeks heating up. It only got worse as he heard a girl whisper loudly " _by Merlin, he's hot!_ ".

Ali snickered loudly at his discomfort, making him glare at her.

Clearing his throat louder than necessary, Xavier captured their attention again. "The symbol you will receive, Harry, is more than a symbol marking. It is a representation of our community. It is proof that we accepted you into our community. It is a symbol of trust, of family, of belonging. But also of our suffering, of our struggles. It is a symbol of our magic and knowledge. By giving you this, we all become your mother, your father, your brother and sister as you become our son and brother."

"No chance for any girls to become your girlfriend and wife, eh?" Ali nudged him teasingly with an elbow.

"Ali…" Xavier glared at her, but Harry didn't miss the twitch at the corner of Xaviers lips as another girl in the crowd groaned in disappointment.

" _What did Ali mean by that?!_ "

"With this symbol," Xavier raised his wand and pressed the tip agains Harry's chest, right over his heart, "you are now officially a member of our family."

Harry gasped at the burning sensation but it was over as quickly as it came. Looking down, he couldn't help but admire it. With a small smile and a comforting ache in his heart, Harry looked up. "Thank you. I will wear this with pride."

"Welcome home, brother." Ali grinned at him.


End file.
